Sunday, February 22, 2009

Arianna Huffington sets the stage for Oscars!

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Worst: Bailout Billionaire

Best sound effects: Wall-E's singing.
Worst: Wall Street's begging.

Best editing: Elliot Graham, Milk
Worst: George W. Bush, The Constitution

Best adaptation: Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire
Worst Adaptation: George W. Bush, U.S. Constitution

Best sex scene: Kate Winslet and David Kross in The Reader
Worst: Eliot Spitzer and Ashley Dupré in Client #9

Best rip off: the compromising photo stolen in The Bank Job
Worst: the $50 billion Bernie Madoff stole from his hapless clients

Best return on investment: Slumdog Millionaire, which cost $15 million to make and has grossed over $130 million worldwide.
Worst: the $350 billion we gave to Wall Street banks - with nothing to show for

Best sequel: The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan's brooding follow up to Batman Begins
Worst: TARP II, Tim Geithner's vague follow up to Hank Paulson's Bailout Begins

Best performance in a drama: Mickey Rourke's soulful comeback in The Wrestler
Worst: the banking CEOs trying to act contrite in front of Congress

Best performance by a rodent: Matthew Broderick as the fearless mouse in The Tale of Despereaux
Worst: Rod Blagojevich as the Senate seat-selling rat in A Tale of Desperation

Best mega-buck action fantasy: Iron Man
Worst: Self-Regulation on Wall Street

Best Funny Performance: Jim Carrey says "Yes" to everything in Yes Man
Unfunny: Republicans say "No" to everything in Congress

Best Song: M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes," Slumdog Millionaire
Worst: G.O.P.'s "Barack the Magic Negro," Scumdog Millionaires

Best Achievement in Sound: The Dark Knight
Worst: Rod Blagojevich recorded trying to sell a Senate seat

Best farce: War, Inc.
Worst: (tie) Iraq War, Afghanistan War, War on Terror, War on Drugs

Best rude character: Dane Cook, "Tank" in My Best Friend's Girl
Worst: Dick Cheney "VP" in The Torturista

Best costume design: The Duchess
Worst: Sarah Palin's $150,000 wardrobe

Best overblown performance by a Diva with a dubious sense of right and wrong : Meryl Streep in Doubt
Worst: Sarah Palin in Doubt She Has Any Business on the Ticket

(HT: Huffington Post, here and here)

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